The Giants of Summer

They Might Be Giants, the band, sponsored this Seattle Little League team, They Might Be Giants.

By Mary Lyn Maiscott

They were always unpredictable, and now proto-alt-rockers They Might Be Giants have made history (we’re pretty sure) by stepping up to the plate to sponsor a Little League team in Seattle called, um, They Might Be Giants—the inspiration of the team’s coaches, two guys named John (sound familiar?). One of the other “two Johns,” TMBG’s John Flansburgh, as opposed to Linnell, said the photo of the five- and six-year-olds wearing yellow “No!” (the title of the duo’s first children’s album) T-shirts “just knocked us out,” adding, “If a pizza parlor or a supermarket can sponsor a team, why can’t a rock band?”

Yeah, why not? Especially one that took home the 2009 Grammy for best children’s album, for Here Come the 123s (these geek-rockers are verging on adorable). And the Brooklyn-based band—shouldn’t they be called They Might Be Dodgers?—doesn’t intend to stop with one team (they might all be giants!).

This got us to thinking: if other artists, past and present, were to follow their lead, what T-shirt slogans might whiz past sweaty, screaming parents as their little tykes throw smoke, drill one into the gap, or trip headfirst over home plate? Maybe…

Right Said Fred: I’m too sexy for my mitt
Kanye West: Harder, better, faster, stronger
Sex Pistols: No future
T.I. and Jay-Z: Swagga like us
The Who: The kids are alright
The Who: Mama’s got a squeeze play
Lady GaGa: Use your muscle, carve it out, work it, hustle
Rhianna: Oh, how about a round of applause
Bruce Springsteen: Glory days
Pink Floyd: We don’t need no education
Ringo Starr: I’m the greatest
The Beatles: There are bases I remember
Adam Lambert: I risk being safe
Miley Cyrus: Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Katy Perry: You’re my experimental game
Coldplay: Feel the fear in my enemies’ eyes
Meatloaf: Batter outta hell
The Troggs: Wild pitch
The Rolling Stones: Sticky fingers
Lil Wayne: Sacrifice
Fishbone: She threw me a curve
Bryan Adams: We got the bases loaded
Gary Lewis and the Playboys: This diamond can mean something beautiful
Taylor Swift: Fearless

And of course:
John Fogarty: Put me in, coach